First of all, I'm Steve Pavlina's fan/follower, I love what he's doing because he's actually changing people's lives through his work and life experiences. So, I have had a chance to listen to one of his podcast (first podcast which was recorded in 2005), where he basically explains how he got stated to be where he is today, I was impressed and wanted to share with others to awaken that dead animal living inside of us all.
Steve says; "in 1991 January 27 on a super bowl Sunday, on this particular Sunday almost everyone was watching a super bowl while he was sitting in a jail cell. He has just been arrested for felony grand theft and he already had prior conviction for shoplifting a year before, and he was 19 year old at that time."
Well, if you have never been to jail and hopefully you haven't, you should know that it's extremely boring and he continued saying that; since he had nothing else to do for three to four days at that time, he sat there and thought long & hard about his life, which as you can properly imagine from the fact that he was in jail, it was a bit of a mess.
And some time during those three day, at some point he had a very powerful realization and finally he realized that he was the one who put himself in that cell, he realized that no one had done it to him, not the security guard who caught him, not the officer who arrested him, not the society at large and he wasn't even the victim of his own bad habit. He did it to himself. Yes, honestly "he did it to himself."๐จ
And that sense of responsibility finally came crushing down on him, no one was going to save him, if anything in his life was going to change, the empathy for that change was going to have to come from him. How his life turned out from that point on-wards was entirely up to him, but there was no way that a 19 year old kid could fix his whole life overnight.
For starters, he wasn't very emotionally stable, at different times he was depressed, angry, frustrated, alone and sometimes even annoyed. He was unfocused, undisciplined and extremely dishonest, and most of all he was lazy. But the one thing he dad going for him was that he finally reached the level of awareness where he could see that the path he was on, was eventually going to destroy him if he didn't do something about it.
But to actually correct the problems he faced and to get his life back on track seemed unattainable, it seemed beyond his own abilities. Remember he didn't have the discipline, the integrity, the focus or the persistence to make those kinds of sweeping changes. He couldn't even get himself out of bed before noon because at the time he was totally addicted to shoplifting, he'd often do it several times per day.
So, how on earth could he expect to fix everything? And he didn't believe he could do it, he knew what he needed to do but he didn't think he could do it, he wasn't strong enough and he was right thinking that, he wasn't strong enough but when he finally surrendered to that, sense that he wasn't strong enough at the time that's when another realization hit him.
Maybe there was a way he could somehow, someday become strong enough. If he couldn't lift the way in front of him, maybe he could train himself to the point where he could eventually lift it, he could grow, at the very least he could grow up, and that gave him a sense of hope because he felt that working on himself was at least something he could control.
Even though his extraordinary reality seemed to be spiraling out of control, so in that moment he decided to make a personal growth (his number 1 priority in life) which included figuring out exactly how he needed to grow. So, what did he actually do? Steve says; "first he cut off all ties to the circle of people that were reinforcing his whole identity, he moved to another city and gradually made new friends."
He continued saying that; "with this state, it helped interrupt the patterns that let to his destructive behavior and reinforce it and he successfully kept himself out of jail from that point on-wards, and that was a big accomplishment for him. And he went to work on his knowledge and skills, he bought books, audio programs and eventually he stated attending seminars."
He also went to work on his emotions, he gradually overcame his negativity, his negative attitude, his sarcasm and he started building a positive & enthusiastic attitude for himself which was a huge shift for him. He went on to work on his focus and he started consciously setting goals for himself and working to achieve them.
He went on to work on his self discipline which allowed him to learn to trust himself and so he could take on bigger and bigger goals. He went to work on his own beliefs about reality and he gradually formed a new sense of his own spirituality that was very empowering for him, the one that was uniquely his own. He went on to work on his character, on his integrity and on his sense of honor until he became a man who he could take a long haul to look at himself in the mirror without wanting to turn way.
He went to work on his time management skills which allowed him to go to college and graduate with two degrees in three semesters by taking triple the normal course load. He went to work on his relationships, eventually attracting a wonderful woman into his life who not only became his wife but also his best friend.
He went on to work in his courage, facing down his deepest fears, he started his own computer games business and after much difficulty, after lot of hard work he was able to make it successful. He went to work on his physical energy and he began exercising regularly, he ran a marathon, he became a vegetarian and later on a vegan, permanently eliminating all animal products from his diet.
He went on to work on his generosity and he started writing, speaking and volunteering to help others with their own personal growth, all for free. He went to work on his vision of his life, he took the time to consciously define a purpose for his life and overtime to make that purpose a part of his daily reality, a part of his everyday life.
So, over a period of a decade & half (15 years) that 19 year old kid was able to completely transform every part of his life, he redesigned and rebuilt his life from scratch by conscious choice. Now how much time do you think that took? how much time did he work directly on his own personal growth during those 15 years? Do you think it involved just reading a book and having an instant quick fix solution that worked?
Steve says; "not remotely." He continued saying that; "the best guess would probably be about 10,000 hours (that's equivalent to 5 years and 40 hour weeks)" He thinks that one committed decision that he made and all the hard work he did to fall through on it, the person that he is today owes that boy his very existence, he exist because him, because of him he get up every morning at 5am while awake and full of energy.
Because of him he feels confident and enthusiastic about his life, because of him he has courage to go after his dreams without being side trapped by fear, because him he has a wonderful wife and kids, because him Steve now spends his time doing most fulfilling and purposeful work he could possibly imagine for himself.
Because of him he's in a position of being able to make a positive contribution to the world, because of him he can honestly say, "I am truly happy." He says that; "he's truly happy because he made a decision and paid the price." Steve says that: "he owes everything he is to that scared, lazy, dishonest, terribly confused young man to that one intelligent decision that he made on January 27 1991. The decision to grow. "
And Steve says that; "words can't express that overwhelming gratitude he feels towards him everyday for making that decision." Isn't that amazing that all of these positive results can be traced back to a single decision that was made by a 19 year old boy sitting a jail cell being charged with a felony? ๐
Now, can you imagine what that same kind of decision could do for you, deciding to grow, to improve yourself, to become a better, stronger and more capable person tomorrow than you are today? Well, you don't need to drop everything in your life in order to pursue personal growth! What Steve suggests is that you can commit to begin weaving a throat of personal growth into your every day life, starting right now.
But you have to understand that it takes time to actually see the end results, even if you do that it's unlikely that your life is going to change much in a short term. Even after 6 months or a year from now things may not be that much different for you than they are today (it's not a quick fix solution) but fast forward maybe after 2 - 10 years even small changes will begin to make a real difference in your life.
"Personal development is not fast or easy, it's long, hard and much of the time is painful, it will stretch you to your limits, it'll stretch you beyond your limits and you'll experience some failure along the way, but if you accept that this is just how it's going to be and you commit to do it anyway, then you've already won."
Just like that 19 year old boy did,. Understand that one of the most intelligent decisions you can possibly make both for your own good and for the good of everyone else that surrounds you is to grow, to become the best human being you're capable of becoming no matter how difficult it is or how long it takes."
As human beings, we never done growing, it's a lifelong process and for Steve it's a lifelong commitment. Steve says his purpose in life; "is to consciously and courageously pursue personal growth and to actively support other people who want to grow as well." For him it's not just a career, it's who he has become, it's what he's here on earth to do.
So, he invites people who also want to grow just like that 19 year old boy did to join him on this journey. To begin with this journey of personal development and growth, visit his website and blog here and there you'll find a lot of resources to help you get started.
Whatever figurative jail cell you find yourself in right now, realize that you're the one who put yourself in there and ultimately you're the one who's going to have to work yourself out of it, no one is going to save you including Steve but he's there to help you if you want to take advantage of that. No matter what your life looks like right now but within you there's a potential for something much greater.
But we know that you're not going to tap that potential with a fast and easy quick fix, it's going to take a lot of hard work and time but despite how hard it may be, it'll be worth it at the end. If you're only going to remember one idea from this post, then just remember this one word "GROW". Cheers!!! ๐ฅ